Rediscovering life and manhood after prostate cancer
I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the end of 2019 and feared losing my manhood and my life. I was lucky to have my prostate surgically removed before the cancer spread more widely. The most minimal roadmap for recovery was provided. I want to expand the roadmap and the conversation about recovering life and manhood after prostate cancer.
Here, you can read a variety of survivor’s stories and those of their partners. There are lots of useful resources for your own journey. And this is not a substitute for professional medical advice.
The roots of this blog lie in the step by step sharing of my story as it unfolded over the last three and a half years, together with others who have different experiences. My aim is to mark some points on the rather uncharted landscape, so you can build your own roadmap. It includes direct and personal accounts of our body, head, heart and soul and partner journeys as well as the inner and outer resources that helped us along the way. Grateful thanks to my wife and an increasing number of other cancer survivors and their partners for sharing stories on these pages.
The goals: rebuild health, expand identities, make the most of what we have.
Before and after my surgery: short videos
Get the lowdown in 5 minutes: click above for 5 short, revealing videos before and after
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Journeys of recovery from – and adaptation to – prostate cancer
Below are the thumbnails of the most recent posts – click on each for the full story. For chronological order, please visit diagnosis, treatment and recovery pages. More here every week. I invite you to subscribe (see above and sidebar on the right/below) so you don’t miss a thing.
How cardiovascular research led to innovative erection support
The Firmtech erection support device was born out of a medical research need married to innovative design thinking. Dr Elliot Justin was originally called in by a Utah urologist and medical researcher. He was asked to create a wearable device to [...]
Day 1325: Discovering new full body orgasms
October 14, 2023: Today I felt us making love together with a wholeness that has been elusive, and often absent from my experience, for nearly four years. Today went way beyond genital connection - our whole bodies were intertwining well beyond [...]
Partner Diary 5: how extended lovemaking combats ED
By Catherine in France May 30, 2023: I have some good news. The last few weeks my husband has been getting larger swelling in his penis, but rigidity was not quite OK. Here's how extended lovemaking has combated ED for us. [...]
Guest post: ADT and psychosexual therapy
By Tony Collier Having told me I’d be starting on Androgen Deprivation Therapy (ADT), my oncologist went on to say “Regrettably, once you start on ADT you’ll be unable to gain an erection. But it may not matter much, as [...]
Guest post: Getting my biopsy result – Gleason 8
Getting my biopsy results proving I had quite an aggressive form of prostate cancer. By Michael B Morris There are always heart-stopping moments. It’s one of the nuances one doesn’t think about until cancer arrives. There will be tests and [...]
Partner diary 4: softish connection, afternoon delight
By Catherine 16 April 2023: Soft penetration allows us to return to our regular afternoon delights. Eight months after my husband's cytoprostatectomy, we are able to reconnect sexually without fussing too much about how hard his erections are. Here are some [...]
Day 1242: The new normal after prostate cancer
Honestly, my major concern has been recovering erectile function after prostate cancer. Now, at three and a half years after my radical prostatectomy, I am about ready to celebrate some successes and declare "enough" of struggling to get back what I [...]
Partner diary 3: like teenagers all over again
By Catherine 13 February 2023: At ages 59 and 71 respectively, we are like teenagers who discover sexuality. As a partner, I want to share what has helped in my husband's ED recovery. Indeed, today, 6 months to the day after [...]
Partner diary 2: searching for support
By Catherine 8 December 2022: I want to contribute to support my partner after his cytoprostatectomy. It's nearly 4 months since his surgery, and we still can't have sex the way we used to. Here are some of the conversations, experiments [...]
Partner Diary 1: early days after cystoprostatectomy
By Catherine I'm a 59 year old French woman Professor of Medicine. My husband, who is 12 years older than me, had a cystoprostatectomy on 12 August 2022 due to (initially misdiagnosed) bladder cancer. The operation was on the 40th anniversary [...]
Recovering kundalini yoga after prostatectomy
When I first tried returning to yoga after prostatectomy, it was difficult. After the surgery, I was very conscious of having that empty space at my root chakra - where the prostate used to be. And when I tried to shift [...]
Guest post 2: Sexual inventiveness with ED and new partner
By Tim Flood I was lucky enough to fall in love and start a new relationship soon after my prostate cancer treatment. However, our first sexual encounter was a disaster. I could not achieve an erection. I was distraught. Devastated. Clearly, [...]
Invitation to contribute
Your input is invited
- Please comment on individual blog entries and ask questions. You do need to give your valid email address (to avoid spam) and your contact info won’t be published or abused in any way. You are welcome to use a nickname or even “anonymous.”
- Use the Contact page to open up broader topics
- Consider sharing your story. Example 1 and example 2. Maybe your voice and story also belong here? Let me know or Try this template – you will be surprised how much you learn from telling your story (open to prostate cancer survivors and/or their partners)