Rediscovering life and manhood after prostate cancer
I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the end of 2019 and feared losing my manhood and my life. I was lucky to have my prostate surgically removed before the cancer spread more widely. The most minimal roadmap for recovery was provided. I want to expand the roadmap and the conversation about recovering life and manhood after prostate cancer.
Step by step, this is to share my story as it unfolded over the last 20 months. My aim is to mark some points on the rather uncharted landscape, so you can build your own roadmap. It is a direct and personal account of my body, head, heart and soul journey as well as the inner and outer resources that helped me along the way. I am also grateful to my wife and other cancer survivors for sharing their stories on these pages.
The goal: rebuild health, expand identity as a man.
Before and after surgery: two short videos
Get the lowdown in 3 minutes: click above for 2 short, revealing videos
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Journeys of recovery from – and adaptation to – prostate cancer
Below are the thumbnails of the most recent posts – click on each for the full story. For chronological order, please visit diagnosis, treatment and recovery pages. More here every week. I invite you to subscribe (see above and sidebar on the right/below) so you don’t miss a thing.
Guest poem: Finding the NEW
by Steve Jones When I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in October, 2020 I was scared, apprehensive and anxious. I didn’t really listen all that intently to the numbers. As soon as I heard the word cancer I just wanted [...]
9 months: a masterclass in softer pleasures
25 November 2020: It's so good to get help with unavoidable sexual changes after prostate cancer. My wife and I love each other as much as ever, but the way we make love has to change as a result of my [...]
Day 270: The value of prostate cancer support groups
23 November 2020: After prostate cancer treatment, I felt isolated and uninformed while weird stuff continued to happen to my body. Now at last I am tapping into the value of prostate cancer support groups locally and globally. My first ideas [...]
Guest post 2: what can happen to sex after ADT
By Martin Wells "No sex after ADT" - the biggest fear of many men with prostate cancer. Here's how my sexuality adapted to Androgen Deprivation Therapy (ADT). Along the way I have learned a lot about testosterone, about relationships and [...]
Unique prostate cancer research study in South Africa
By Pierre Röscher The single most inspiring moment of my life as a physiotherapist happened in 2015. I was there when world renowned Australian prostate cancer specialist physiotherapist Dr. Jo Milios was presenting her PhD research at the World Physiotherapy [...]
Guest post 1: When prostate surgery doesn’t catch all the cancer
By Martin Wells Not everybody gets to have their cancer cut out and then stay in remission. Here's the beginning of my story of ongoing cancer after prostatectomy. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer 14 years ago, and it is [...]
Day 264: Yoga for the penis, Part 3 | Integration
17 November 2020: Practical ways of combining penile rehabilitation with sexual play are finally dawning. What were a disparate set of decidedly unsexy rehab exercises can actually be integrated into something both shared and also more sexy. And this integration actually [...]
Day 260: Yoga for the penis, Part 2 | Real time biofeedback
13 November 2020: Here's how real time ultrasound biofeedback is helping me fine tune my urine control and penile rehab programme after prostate cancer surgery. It's hard to keep on board with all the rehab activities after prostate surgery. My recovery [...]
Day 227: Still yearning for recovery roadmap and integrated care
11 October 2020: I've spent the last month as chief nurse and assistant physiotherapist to my wife after her knee replacement operation. She's been given a crystal clear recovery roadmap with a detailed management plan for painkillers, stretching, rest, ice and [...]
Day 187: New ways of making love with all kinds of fluidity
1 September 2020: Recovering from prostate cancer is nudging me towards greater gender fluidity and my marriage toward more open-ended sexual experimentation. Today is the first day of spring. But we woke to a cold, grey morning and snuggled back under [...]
Month 6: Additional benefits of pelvic floor physiotherapy
27 August 2020: Celebrating the benefits of pelvic floor physiotherapy with the wonderful Hester van Aswegen. Her specialist training and simple direct manner are helping me go beyond the basic penile rehabilitation and pelvic floor physio work previously described. Now we [...]
Erectionless sex
3 August 2020: I still can't get erections, but today I feel much more satisfied and less frightened. My wife and I are learning to navigate erectionless sexual connection. It's day 158 after my prostatectomy, and a long time since I [...]
Invitation to contribute
Your input is invited
- Please comment on individual blog entries and ask questions. You do need to give your valid email address (to avoid spam) and your contact info won’t be published or abused in any way. You are welcome to use a nickname or even “anonymous.”
- Use the Contact page to open up broader topics
- Consider sharing your story. Example 1 and example 2. Maybe your voice and story also belong here? Let me know or Try this template – you will be surprised how much you learn from telling your story (open to prostate cancer survivors and/or their partners)