Rediscovering life and manhood after prostate cancer
I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the end of 2019 and feared losing my manhood and my life. I was lucky to have my prostate surgically removed before the cancer spread more widely. The most minimal roadmap for recovery was provided. I want to expand the roadmap and the conversation about recovering life and manhood after prostate cancer.
Here, you can read a variety of survivor’s stories and those of their partners. There are lots of useful resources for your own journey. And this is not a substitute for professional medical advice.
The roots of this blog lie in the step by step sharing of my story as it unfolded over the last two and a half years, together with others who have different experiences. My aim is to mark some points on the rather uncharted landscape, so you can build your own roadmap. It includes direct and personal accounts of our body, head, heart and soul and partner journeys as well as the inner and outer resources that helped us along the way. Grateful thanks to my wife and an increasing number of other cancer survivors and their partners for sharing stories on these pages.
The goals: rebuild health, expand identities, make the most of what we have.
Before and after my surgery: three short videos
Get the lowdown in 5 minutes: click above for short, revealing videos before and after
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Journeys of recovery from – and adaptation to – prostate cancer
Below are the thumbnails of the most recent posts – click on each for the full story. For chronological order, please visit diagnosis, treatment and recovery pages. More here every week. I invite you to subscribe (see above and sidebar on the right/below) so you don’t miss a thing.
Guest post 2: orchidectomy as an ADT alternative
By John In June this year I chose to have my testicles surgically removed, as an alternative to a lifetime on Androgen Deprivation Therapy (ADT). In terms of my overall quality of life after orchidectomy, it is working better for [...]
Success with Viagra – 2 years after radical prostatectomy
13 December 2021 - While adapting to and celebrating the joys of softer sexuality, I also admit to pining for the return of hard erections. Drugs like Viagra and Cialis can help but it is complicated. Today I tried again with [...]
Guest post: better sex after prostate cancer
By John I was 58 when I was first diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2015. I tried alternative treatments initially as I was not that keen on potential side effects of either surgery or radiation treatment - particularly on my [...]
Guest poem 3: Stoic masculinity
By Steve Jones I sometimes scroll through the faces of the men who have liked or reacted to a poem or a writing of mine. I see something in us all. I see something behind the eyes and the smiles knowing [...]
Day 633: meditating on soft and hard
21 November 2021: Prostate cancer has required and encouraged me to explore the softer side of my sexuality. For the past year, I and other contributors have been extolling the virtues of erectionless sex, gender fluidity, sensuality and libido that goes [...]
Day 595: Impact of low testosterone
14 October 2021: I'm feeling the impact of low testosterone. From past experience I recognise the subtle changes. For the last couple of months, I've generally been a bit more lethargic. I've had less physical energy. Even after increasing my daily [...]
Year 2: keeping it all together
13 September 2021: My second year since prostate cancer surgery feels like I'm constantly juggling health demands to keep my life together. Separately, there is progress on many fronts: diet, fitness, cancer, urine control, sexual function, relationship adaptation, mental and emotional [...]
Guest poem 2: Lonely nights
By Steve Jones I wrote this about 8 months ago and wanted to share a part of my long, hard, mentally exhausting road back to sexual health and my New normal after my prostate cancer was removed surgically (Robotic Radical Prostatectomy) [...]
Guest post: Persistent Pleasuring for the Penis
By Michael Ward Prostate cancer. Its mere mention provoked dread and fear for me. At first it was the cancer's threat to my life, then afterwards erectile dysfunction (ED) threatened aspects of my identity. I am so aware of others [...]
Guest post: As good as it gets
By George Smalberger Here's my good luck story ending in full quality of life recovery after prostate cancer and its treatment. I had my prostate surgically removed two years ago, and I just carry on. I think I am one [...]
Guest post: tracking nocturnal tumescence after prostatectomy
By Michael Ward Here's what I got when I tracked my involuntary nocturnal tumescence for the year after my radical prostatectomy. In plain language, that's "how hard was my morning wood." It was useful during my recovery because I didn't [...]
Guest post: PSA rising again – personal action
By Dr Rhys Leeming It’s a devastating moment when, after all your initial treatment and painful recovery and a seemingly miraculous cancer cure, you realise your prostate cancer has actually come back! It happened to me in April 2022. This [...]
Invitation to contribute
Your input is invited
- Please comment on individual blog entries and ask questions. You do need to give your valid email address (to avoid spam) and your contact info won’t be published or abused in any way. You are welcome to use a nickname or even “anonymous.”
- Use the Contact page to open up broader topics
- Consider sharing your story. Example 1 and example 2. Maybe your voice and story also belong here? Let me know or Try this template – you will be surprised how much you learn from telling your story (open to prostate cancer survivors and/or their partners)