Rediscovering life and manhood after prostate cancer
I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the end of 2019 and feared losing my manhood and my life. I was lucky to have my prostate surgically removed before the cancer spread more widely. The most minimal roadmap for recovery was provided. I want to expand the roadmap and the conversation about recovering life and manhood after prostate cancer.
Here, you can read a variety of survivor’s stories and those of their partners. There are lots of useful resources for your own journey. And this is not a substitute for professional medical advice.
The roots of this blog lie in the step by step sharing of my story as it unfolded over the last three and a half years, together with others who have different experiences. My aim is to mark some points on the rather uncharted landscape, so you can build your own roadmap. It includes direct and personal accounts of our body, head, heart and soul and partner journeys as well as the inner and outer resources that helped us along the way. Grateful thanks to my wife and an increasing number of other cancer survivors and their partners for sharing stories on these pages.
The goals: rebuild health, expand identities, make the most of what we have.
Before and after my surgery: short videos
Get the lowdown in 6 minutes: click above for short, revealing videos before and after prostate cancer treatment
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Journeys of recovery from – and adaptation to – prostate cancer
Below are the thumbnails of the most recent posts – click on each for the full story. For chronological order, please visit diagnosis, treatment and recovery pages. More here every week. I invite you to subscribe (see above and sidebar on the right/below) so you don’t miss a thing.
Subtler stages of recovering sexual function after prostate surgery
July 18, 2024: Over 50% of the nearly three thousand men in the 2022 EUPROMS study reported sexual function to be a big or moderate problem. I think the main part of my erectile nerve recovery is nearly complete 4 and [...]
Partner story 4: Senior sex can be fun
By Colleen Dawson We're finding that senior sex can be fun, provided we are flexible about outcomes. As we explore the different situation after my husband's prostate surgery, we are also aging into our late 60s and early 70s. But as [...]
Doctors not communicating prostate cancer treatment side effects
The debilitating side effects of prostate cancer treatment must be one of the world's worst kept secrets. But physicians still struggle to communicate this clearly to their patients when they are making treatment decisions. This is according to a journal article [...]
4 years since radical prostatectomy
The long term outcomes since my radical prostatectomy are very good, particularly from the point of view that my cancer is still undetectable on my regular checkups. In my quality of life there have been clear losses and gains. To get [...]
Partners talking about sexual changes after prostate cancer
It's often difficult talking with your partner about sex after prostate cancer. I am curious to hear from readers, what is it like for you? For me and many people I have spoken with, it can feel like having to cover [...]
Guest Post 2: Re-imagining penetration
By Wayne May When we make love, speak, share, dance, write or create - don't we want to penetrate or be penetrated? What if it could be in a different way? Perhaps some of us who have lost our ability [...]
Wearable erection tracker with uncannily accurate app
I'm amazed at this new wearable erection tracker app. The wearable part supports, prolongs and strengthens erections the best I have ever experienced. And the tracker app logs erection strength, frequency and duration with uncanny accuracy and sensitivity. The wearable sensor [...]
Guest interview: penile prosthesis aged 68
When I interviewed Johann about his penile prosthesis, he was just back from work, and on his way out to dinner with his wife and children to celebrate his 70th birthday. I was blown away by his positive energy and love [...]
How cardiovascular research led to innovative erection support
The Firmtech erection support device was born out of a medical research need married to innovative design thinking. Dr Elliot Justin was originally called in by a Utah urologist and medical researcher. He was asked to create a wearable device to [...]
Day 1325: Discovering new full body orgasms
October 14, 2023: Today I felt us making love together with a wholeness that has been elusive, and often absent from my experience, for nearly four years. Today went way beyond genital connection - our whole bodies were intertwining well beyond [...]
Partner Diary 5: how extended lovemaking combats ED
By Catherine in France May 30, 2023: I have some good news. The last few weeks my husband has been getting larger swelling in his penis, but rigidity was not quite OK. Here's how extended lovemaking has combated ED for us. [...]
Guest post: ADT and psychosexual therapy
By Tony Collier Having told me I’d be starting on Androgen Deprivation Therapy (ADT), my oncologist went on to say “Regrettably, once you start on ADT you’ll be unable to gain an erection. But it may not matter much, as [...]
Invitation to contribute
Your input is invited
- Please comment on individual blog entries and ask questions. You do need to give your valid email address (to avoid spam) and your contact info won’t be published or abused in any way. You are welcome to use a nickname or even “anonymous.”
- Use the Contact page to open up broader topics
- Consider sharing your story. Example 1 and example 2. Maybe your voice and story also belong here? Let me know or Try this template – you will be surprised how much you learn from telling your story (open to prostate cancer survivors and/or their partners)