Rediscovering life and manhood after prostate cancer
I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the end of 2019 and feared losing my manhood and my life. I was lucky to have my prostate surgically removed before the cancer spread more widely. The most minimal roadmap for recovery was provided. I want to expand the roadmap and the conversation about recovering life and manhood after prostate cancer.
Step by step, this is to share my story as it unfolded over the last 20 months. My aim is to mark some points on the rather uncharted landscape, so you can build your own roadmap. It is a direct and personal account of my body, head, heart and soul journey as well as the inner and outer resources that helped me along the way. I am also grateful to my wife and other cancer survivors for sharing their stories on these pages.
The goal: rebuild health, expand identity as a man.
Before and after surgery: two short videos
Get the lowdown in 3 minutes: click above for 2 short, revealing videos
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Journeys of recovery from – and adaptation to – prostate cancer
Below are the thumbnails of the most recent posts – click on each for the full story. For chronological order, please visit diagnosis, treatment and recovery pages. More here every week. I invite you to subscribe (see above and sidebar on the right/below) so you don’t miss a thing.
Video documentary: David’s prostate cancer journey
Here is a remarkable prostate cancer survivor story documented live, as it happened, on video - with loving care and clarity. "It's an inner journey, deep in my core spirit, soul - and I have to walk it myself. I [...]
Day 148 – Requiem for my prostate
24 July 2020: This is about, and goes beyond, my body changes after prostatectomy. I am healed on the outside. I can do everything I used to do out in the world. But something has changed deep inside. A requiem is [...]
Guest couple: How our relationship was hurt, and recovered
By Jeannie and Pratap Mehta Looking back after ten years on how prostate cancer affected our marriage, the big picture emerges. We have been together nearly 60 years, and the cancer, treatment and recovery were challenges for each of us [...]
Guest couple: Joyful and inventive sex into our 70s & 80s
By Jeannie and Pratap Mehta Sex over 80 (for him) and approaching 80 (for her) "keeps us both young in many senses." A loving couple, together for nearly sixty years, looks back on the impact of a prostate cancer diagnosis [...]
Day 147: Discovering pelvic floor physiotherapy
23 July 2020: Pelvic floor physiotherapy was the missing piece in my recovery puzzle after prostate cancer surgery. Because of systemic weaknesses in post-operative care, I got minimal practical guidance from my medical team. But now I am on track. Here's [...]
Guest post 3: I like measuring things – Tracking urine control
By Pramod Daya I like measuring things. Especially the reports on my health – cholesterol levels, blood sugar levels, blood pressure, weight. And graphing them, to get a sense of whether my general health is improving, or declining. My brother [...]
Guest post, part 2: Adult incontinence after prostate surgery
By Pramod Daya Adult incontinence is an unpleasant and often undiscussable side effect of prostate cancer treatment. It's a frequent consequence of prostate cancer treatment and affects about 40% of all men going through radical prostatectomy surgery for up to [...]
Join the conversation: prostate cancer and men’s sexual health
This is an invitation to join a live, inclusive real-time conversation circle where we share our experiences with prostate cancer and men's sexual health. If you join at this early stage in the group's formation you will be able to [...]
Day 120: Easy ways to eat healthy organic food and resist cancer
26 June 2020: This is about the astonishing joy of eating easy anti-cancer food. Diet is not a panacea, but here are some practical ways to eat healthy organic food every day. I'm convinced it helps keep cancer at bay. I [...]
Day 115: Awkwardness and love intertwining
21 June 2020: I still have severe erectile dysfunction according to the International Index of Erectile Function. What a blessing to have a partner with whom I can laugh, cry, connect and learn. We have been fumbling, laughing and loving our [...]
Guest post: getting to dry(ish) days
By Dr Rhys Leeming Bladder control is a big problem for prostate cancer survivors and here's how I helped myself by doing Kegels after my prostatectomy. I felt lucky to regain night time continence within about a month of prostate [...]
Guest post: The road to dry nights after prostate surgery
By Dr Rhys Leeming Without a doubt, of all the medical interventions I have had, my prostatectomy has left the deepest scars. Thrown instantly into erectile dysfunction and bladder incontinence, my world was thrown into a deep turmoil. This is [...]
Invitation to contribute
Your input is invited
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- Consider sharing your story. Example 1 and example 2. Maybe your voice and story also belong here? Let me know or Try this template – you will be surprised how much you learn from telling your story (open to prostate cancer survivors and/or their partners)