Rediscovering life and manhood after prostate cancer
I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the end of 2019 and feared losing my manhood and my life. I was lucky to have my prostate surgically removed before the cancer spread more widely. The most minimal roadmap for recovery was provided. I want to expand the roadmap and the conversation about recovering life and manhood after prostate cancer. My own and other survivor’s stories illuminate the range of prostate cancer treatment and survival experiences around the world.
The roots of this blog lie in the step by step sharing of my story as it unfolded over the last two and a half years. My aim is to mark some points on the rather uncharted landscape, so you can build your own roadmap. It is a direct and personal account of my body, head, heart and soul journey as well as the inner and outer resources that helped me along the way. Grateful thanks to my wife and an increasing number of other cancer survivors for sharing their stories on these pages.
The goals: rebuild health, expand identities, make the most of what we have.
Before and after my surgery: three short videos
Get the lowdown in 5 minutes: click above for short, revealing videos before and after
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Journeys of recovery from – and adaptation to – prostate cancer
Below are the thumbnails of the most recent posts – click on each for the full story. For chronological order, please visit diagnosis, treatment and recovery pages. More here every week. I invite you to subscribe (see above and sidebar on the right/below) so you don’t miss a thing.
Day 418: Energy changes after prostate cancer
20 April 2021: Losing my prostate has brought energy changes. It's also got me exploring where my energy really comes from. When I say "energy" I mean something less tangible than the literal physical energy we get from eating food [...]
Partner Story 3: what is “natural sex” for a woman
By Colleen Dawson Being a woman means that sex is inextricably linked to careful preparation. Spontaneity happens when the planning allows it. While many men are averse to anything "artificial" in their own sexual performance, I have always had to deal [...]
Day 417: Revealing interview: sexual recovery after prostate surgery
19 April 2021: I was interviewed today by my hero Dr Jo Milios and the wonderful Melissa Hadley Barrett. It was edgy to be so frank in telling the story of the first year of my sexual recovery after prostate cancer. [...]
Guest story: From trans-Africa travels to treatment shopping to peace
There are many options on being diagnosed with prostate cancer, and definitely one size doesn't fit all. Gavin Hartford was diagnosed with prostate cancer around the same time as me in 2019. Within days, he and his wife took off [...]
Guest post: I just wanted the cancer out!
By Paddy O'Brien Whatever my Gleason Score was, I forget. It is written down somewhere. When urologist Dr Moolman told me (in May 2017) that 75% of the needle biopsy samples from my prostate were cancerous, after a TURP op, [...]
Online course to navigate intimate connection after cancer
13 March 2021 (Day 380 after my surgery): This is about getting help with intimacy after cancer. I have a new body. For my wife it's about having a partner with a differently able body. How do we connect intimately? We [...]
Brachytherapy side effects
by Trevor Pope I received a diagnosis of prostate cancer ten years ago, and it was treated with brachytherapy. The treatment was a success and the outcome is that my cancer is cured. That is, if cancer is ever really [...]
Guest post: my experience of brachytherapy
By Trevor Pope January 2022 marks ten years since my diagnosis and brachytherapy treatment for cancer of the prostate. As anybody who has been given a dread-disease diagnosis will tell you, this can be life changing, even life-ending. So it [...]
One year after prostate surgery
27 February 2021: A year after radical prostatectomy, I am so glad to be alive. I've also realised it is time to tell my story.* In this post and short video, I reflect on the many changes in my life. There's [...]
Day 351: Eagerness emerging in new ways
12 February 2021: Nearly a year after my radical prostatectomy, natural erections are visiting on a rare, fleeting and unpredictable basis. How much I miss the eagerness of this body part that used so frequently to pop up of its own [...]
Guest diary: On being diagnosed with prostate cancer
By Andre Sobolewski 3 June 2021: I've just been diagnosed with prostate cancer. I feel myself being transformed these past days. It's hard to feel an inner illness when I feel perfectly healthy: I can only understand it intellectually: Adenocarcinomas are [...]
Day 320 – Losing my virginity all over again aged 62
12 January 2021: Let me share some joy in difficult times: I feel like I have lost my virginity all over again! It has taken a lot of love and awkwardness to bring the ungainly vacuum erectile device (VED) into the [...]
Invitation to contribute
Your input is invited
- Please comment on individual blog entries and ask questions. You do need to give your valid email address (to avoid spam) and your contact info won’t be published or abused in any way. You are welcome to use a nickname or even “anonymous.”
- Use the Contact page to open up broader topics
- Consider sharing your story. Example 1 and example 2. Maybe your voice and story also belong here? Let me know or Try this template – you will be surprised how much you learn from telling your story (open to prostate cancer survivors and/or their partners)