By Wayne May

When we make love, speak, share, dance, write or create – don’t we want to penetrate or be penetrated? What if it could be in a different way? Perhaps some of us who have lost our ability to penetrate sexually with our erections can benefit from expanding our imagination. I have done so. This is an invitation to open your heart, mind and spirit to a wider sense of penetration. For example:

The sun and air penetrate us lovingly.

Penetrate another with your smile!

Some dictionary definitions of the word penetrate:

  • placed or gone into
  • to be fully understood or realized by someone
  • to succeed in understanding or gaining insight into

My experience: penetrated by life

Last week I was driving back from a reading group meeting and I became charged with energy. Everything was rich, vivid – almost electric. I have had this experience a few more times since the original time. A realization happened.

When I give myself fully to life and don’t hold back Life itself becomes orgasmic. I am penetrated through and through as if it were a sexual act.

So my new radiant lover has become Life and breath. Without breath I don’t exist. If I let life – the big Life – mount me, then from every organ and pore, a much deeper part of my being is touched.

Snow, hunger, longing, wind, the smell of moist vagina, or the taste of man’s ball sac are all filled with the energy of Life. When I take in breath now sometimes I become weak in my heart. It’s the miracle of life sharing its non-judgmental elixir with me. I lose all sense of space and time, and feel naked, innocent and welcomed. Life is an orgasm pulsing its vibrations, rhythms and patterns creatively all the time.

Opening up personally

My new relationship with Life and breath is very personal and intimate. It is just as much a mystery, never the same, always new. I try to stay open to my new lover, Life/breath, for it allows me a rich perspective of an unknowable wisdom and joy.

I have no gender in front of this lover for it decides. Sometimes I am laying legs wide open on the bottom being penetrated. Other times I am (metaphorically) on top moving with the breath.

Yes, this may sound crazy but I am fine in my madness. I now know what it means to be penetrated on a cosmic scale and regardless of my erectile function.