Let’s talk about prostate cancer and men’s sexual health

This is an invitation to join a live, inclusive real-time conversation circle where we share our experiences with prostate cancer and men’s sexual health. It can be a prickly subject but we share the burden and find the opportunities.


If you are reading this, you have probably been whacked at the roots of your being and/or that of your relationship.

Prostate cancer and/or erectile dysfunction (ED) challenges men’s sexual health in the most primal way possible. It is hard for anybody to talk about it in public or often even with loved ones.

This group is a chance to speak openly and honestly about all aspects of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health arising from these challenges.

First call of 2023: looking back, looking forward

“People don’t talk – so let’s talk.” You are invited to join, or rejoin, the conversation with a look at what you have lost and what you have learned from your prostate cancer – and where you might be setting your intentions for 2023. As always, we will be enriched by what we share and what other survivors share from deep places.

Our January meeting is timed to be accessible from all time zones in Asia and Australia. All calls are at times convenient for Europe and Africa. See below for details. The following call (Feb 2nd) will be easier to access from the Americas. Registered members are welcome to suggest topics for the call.

Each call also includes open time where we simply share our stories and how our journey is unfolding, month by month.

In previous sessions we’ve talked about recovery from cancer, hormone treatment, cock rings, relationship issues, incontinence and urine control, the roles of both prescription and other drugs in our treatment and recovery, diet and fitness, how our sexuality and/or sensuality has adapted to the new realities of our bodies, and emotional and spiritual health and wellbeing. Other topics have included

  • What happens when cancer returns after initial treatment
  • Who we tell about our prostate cancer and side effects – and what we tell, how and why
  • Self pleasuring
  • Emotional distancing between survivors and their partners or caregivers
  • Penile rehabilitation
  • Orgasms, before and after prostate cancer
  • Aging
  • Recovery vs Adaptation


Conversations are open to anybody who is affected, including male and female partners. Everybody must abide by our rules about respect, diversity and advice. These circles are completely anonymous, and you can choose whether or not to show your face at all.

Why I am convening and curating these conversations

Prostate cancer and erectile dysfunction (separately or together) are beasts. All those affected need support, and we have to adapt to all kinds of changes. Things don’t always go the way we want them to.

Here’s an opportunity to talk openly and be heard. Members of the group are finding that real-time live conversation generates a wisdom that goes beyond what each individual brings. It also helps us break our sense of isolation.

I am a prostate cancer survivor and I have erectile dysfunction (ED)*. My cancer treatment has gone mercifully well, and ED has been a bigger challenge. I have tried a lot of things to support recovery and I am seeing signs of life down there.

This group is about frank talk amongst survivors and their partners. It doesn’t replace medical care and attention. I am not a medical professional but rather a fellow survivor and facilitator.

What it isn’t

This is not a source of medical advice until and unless we invite experts for that specific purpose. And while you might get support from the group, none of us is here to give or get professional counselling.

This is not a helpline. We only meet about once a month and you may need urgent support. For urgent help, please contact your medical team, and/or your local Prostate Cancer Foundation. I’m also building a list of support groups in the Resources section.

How it works

We meet on Zoom. There is no charge to participate. Nobody has to show their video and you can use just your first name or even a pseudonym. This is a developing initiative and we are figuring out what works together.

You don’t have to speak but you are expected to be fully present for the whole call. To join the group, please complete and submit the form below including a brief note on your connection with prostate cancer and/or men’s sexual health.

Register here to join global prostate cancer and men’s sexual health conversation group

Complete and submit this form to request to join this Zoom-based Recovering Men peer support group. It is run on a volunteer basis and it is not a helpline.

Next meeting: Wednesday 18 January, 2023. Times by zone:

  • Americas: 11 pm Pacific time (on the night of Jan 17th going into 18th)
  • Africa: 9 am CAT
  • Europe: 8 am CET
  • UK: 7 am
  • Western Australia, Hong Kong, Singapore and China: 3 pm
  • Sydney: 6 pm
  • New Zealand: 8 pm

I (Mish) am facilitating the sessions with the help of all who join the calls. It is a peer support group and not a source of, or replacement for, professional medical advice.

Please note: you will get an email response within 24 hours with call details. It helps if you add mish@recoveringman.net to your allowed email list.
This is not a definitive list! Just to get some sense of your interests and concerns...

Your personal data will be cared for under our privacy policy. Specifically, it won’t be used for any purpose other than sending you information about prostate cancer survival and forthcoming group meetings.

Registration form updated 10 August: A couple of people have had trouble with this form and we have made changes we believe have solved the problem. If it still doesn’t work for you, please send email to mish@recoveringman.net as a temporary workaround.

You need to register at least 24 hours in advance to get the link for the call. Use your real name and real email address to register but these won’t be disclosed to anybody without your full and explicit permission.

On the actual call you can remain anonymous if you so choose. I will exclude anybody who attempts to gatecrash sessions and/or break the rules of the group (which will be reviewed and revised together in the group). Doors to the meeting close soon after the start time, to enable the deeper conversations without disruption.

There will be no recordings of any sort.

–  –  –  –  –  –  – Please join and/or invite others who belong on the call – – – – – –

*I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2019 and had my prostate surgically removed early in 2020. Prostate cancer affects millions of men and couples worldwide, gay and straight, mostly older but also some younger. Yet when I was diagnosed in November 2019 the “survivor’s roadmap” seemed to be completely uncharted territory. And the impact of erectile dysfunction is like throwing a man and his partner into a wasteland after a wildfire swept through.