This is an invitation to join a live, inclusive real-time conversation circle where we share our experiences with prostate cancer and men’s sexual health. If you join at this early stage in the group’s formation you will be able to contribute to its design and development.

You must register in advance of the call. the first call was on 13/14 July, and this post has been edited to point towards future meetings. Read on for details.

Why

If you are reading this, you have probably been whacked at the roots of your being and/or that of your relationship.

Prostate cancer and/or ED challenges men’s sexual health in the most primal way possible. It is hard for anybody to talk about it in public or often even with loved ones. This group is a chance to speak openly and honestly about all aspects of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health arising from these challenges.

Who

Conversations are open to anybody who is affected, including male and female partners. Everybody must abide by our rules about respect, diversity and advice. These circles are completely anonymous, and you can choose whether or not to show your face at all.

Why I am convening and curating these conversations

Prostate cancer and erectile dysfunction (separately or together) are beasts. All those affected need support, and we have to adapt to all kinds of changes. Things don’t always go the way we want them to.

Here’s an opportunity to talk openly and be heard. I’m convinced that real-time live conversation generates a wisdom that goes beyond what each individual brings in isolation.

I am a prostate cancer survivor and I have erectile dysfunction (ED)*. My cancer treatment has gone mercifully well, and ED has been a bigger challenge. I have tried a lot of things to support recovery and I am seeing signs of life down there. I want to facilitate frank talk with other survivors and their partners. It doesn’t replace medical care and attention, and I am not a medical professional but rather a fellow survivor and facilitator.

And I am good at holding space for courageous conversations.

What it isn’t

This is not a source of medical advice until and unless we invite experts for that specific purpose. And while you might get support from the group, none of us is here to give or get professional counselling.

This is not a helpline. We only meet once a month and you may need urgent support. For urgent help, please contact your medical team, and/or your local Prostate Cancer Foundation. I’m also building a list of support groups in the Resources section.

How it works

We meet on Zoom, initially envisaging once a month. Times set to include as many parts of the world as we can. Nobody has to show their video and you can use just your first name or even a pseudonym. This is a new initiative and we will figure out what works together.

You don’t have to speak but you are expected to be fully present for the whole call.

You needed to register in advance to get the link for the call. Use your real name and real email address to register but these won’t be disclosed to anybody without your full and explicit permission.

On the actual call you can hide your identity if you so choose. I will exclude anybody who attempts to gatecrash sessions and/or break the rules of the group (which will be reviewed and revised together in the group).

There will be no recordings of any sort.

–  –  –  –  –  –  – Please join and/or invite others who belong on the call – – – – – –

*I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2019 and had my prostate surgically removed early in 2020. Prostate cancer affects millions of men and couples worldwide, gay and straight, mostly older but also some younger. Yet when I was diagnosed in November 2019 the “survivor’s roadmap” seemed to be completely uncharted territory. And the impact of erectile dysfunction is like throwing a man and his partner into a wasteland after a wildfire swept through.